By: Mike Murphy, Transformations Manager of Alumni Services
Days off hit a little different, nowadays. That’s obvious. Waking up hangover free; not spending the first couple of
hours of the day piecing together what I did/said last night, etc. Those are the obvious changes. But what about the other stuff? The stuff we find ourselves doing that may come as a shock to others, but most importantly….ourselves.
A couple of Saturdays ago, I woke up and started going about my day. Nothing too crazy. Some coffee, a granola bar or two, and Sportscenter. I didn’t have any plans lined up for the day; the world was my oyster. Then, I got a message on Facebook about a chair I had been eyeing on Marketplace. The seller had agreed to the price (I have gotten really good at haggling) and wanted to know if I could meet up. So, I finished my coffee and was on my way! The exchange was seamless and I was off to continue the rest of this glorious Saturday! And boy was it A DAY! Two yard sales, a trip to Target (which included a stop at the Starbucks inside), Bath and Body Works for a new candle and some hand sannies and last but not least…a stop at the newly opened Sprout’s to see how their Grab ‘n Go rotisserie chickens stand up to Publix and the others. OH, THE HUMANITY!!
Later on that night I traveled an hour north to Lantana to see a friend speak. It was a nice night out and I decided to take some backroads with the windows down. And I started thinking to myself, “Who have I become? Is this really me? Is THIS the life beyond your wildest dreams stuff they talk about in AA??!” Don’t get me wrong, I am happy as a sober clam with where I am at in life, currently. But, it is QUITE the departure from where I used to be.
Not too long ago, I was living about as close to the rockstar lifestyle as one could live. Without, ya know, being a
rockstar. And I had partied with quite a few of ‘em. Half of Pantera (my favorite band of all time) Lemmy (aka God) of Motorhead, and plenty more. Not to mention, I also had a boss of almost ten years that is X Games royalty. So hanging around The Metal Mulisha guys, The Nitro Circus Crew, and others was not uncommon, either. And I will be the first person to tell you this….I had a freaking BLAST. I had some escapades that some dudes could only dream about. Sometimes, I still sit and think about some of the shit I would get myself into and with who. I’m extremely fortunate. What happened to THIS guy? Where had HE gone??
Did I have some incredible adventures? Sure! Did I get to meet a lot of really cool people along the way? You betcha! Do I have some amazing stories to tell? Absolutely! But wanna know what I also have? An endless amount of shit I would rather not ever let see the light of day. The countless embarrassing stories of how I acted, the realization that I had violated my standards faster than I could lower them, the hurt I caused my family members and close friends, the list could go on and on. But most importantly, I almost allowed this to end my life. And I don’t care who or what you throw my way, there is nothing that cool or badass that is worth losing your life 
over. I used to think so.
So now, I wake up on days off not feeling like a dirty gas station mop bucket, make myself some coffee and contemplate what boring, basic, borderline PG-13 kinda crap I am gonna get myself into. And I am ok with that. Not bad for a former “self will run riot” If I do say so myself.
If you find yourself doubting your “boring new life” odds are good you are only fixating on the “fun” stuff from the past. It may hurt, and it may suck, but sometimes we have to remind ourselves of the pain of the past to see the beauty in the present.
P.s. Sprout’s rotisserie chicken is top-notch. And with a resealable, microwave-safe bag. GAME CHANGER. Now can we please get this for bacon??!!
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