By: Michael Murphy, Transformations Manager of Alumni Services
And just like that, the 2022 Holiday Season is coming to an end. I hope it was a very happy, merry, and prosperous one for you and yours. As for me? Mine was spent mostly with family and entailed eating entirely too much meat and cheese. And while we are on the topic, can we please cool it off with the charcuterie boards? Look, I love room-temperature cheese and cold cuts as much as the next guy, but holy smokes. Have some humility. Ok, charcuterie rant over.
For most people, the Holiday Season is “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, as the song suggests. But sadly, it’s not like that for everyone. Especially those in Recovery. And it’s not just the newcomers. Even those that have done this dance before have their struggles. It’s normal! Hell, it’s even expected! It’s an emotional roller coaster covered in tinsel. From uncomfortable family gatherings to loneliness to overindulgence in every damn direction you look, it’s a WILD time. So, let’s talk about it!
When I was still drinking, I used to utilize “The Irish Goodbye” regularly. Not familiar with this move? Let me enlighten you. The Irish Goodbye is when you find yourself in a social setting and wanting to leave but without all the hassle of actually telling people you are leaving or God forbid, your reasoning behind exiting. This is one of the few habits of mine from when I was boozing that has carried over well. There is usually no better time to utilize it than the Holiday Season. Post Family Dinner? IRISH GOODBYE. Get together with some old friends that are back in town? IRISH GOODBYE. Salvation Army Santa in front of the supermarket? IRISH GOODBYE. The only difference now, is that I usually deploy this to go home and sit on the couch and watch murder/true crime documentaries. In the past, it would be to go to another bar or liquor store before crashing at home. Usually leaving a trail of destruction behind me. Now the only thing following me in my path are tums wrappers from the room temp meats and cheeses we previously discussed.
While the Irish Goodbye is a quirky and funny way to get out of things or avoid things altogether, let’s be honest…. We can’t do that with everything. There are going to be temptations and triggers everywhere. If you’re an alcoholic like me, you can’t go more than five seconds without it being shoved in your face. That hasn’t changed nor do I see it EVER changing. What has changed? How I decide to react to it. Boundaries are a big one. Putting boundaries up is essential. But along with putting them up, explaining them to certain people is just as important. Boundaries only work if they are understood by both parties involved. Is it’s a personal boundary? Then that falls on me. And there are a lot of them. For example, I know I have no business going to certain places that might set something off. In my heart of hearts, what business do I really have being at a bar? Or a club? (Which I am entirely too old to do, anyways. But I’m trying to make a point here, folks)
Can this be boring? Yep. Does it have to be? Nope. Finding new things to do to occupy your time is not nearly as difficult as you may want to think they are. Obviously, there are meetings/support groups. I cannot emphasize the importance of those enough. Getting out there and being around others that are sludging along this holiday mess right alongside you. But, also try getting creative. For me? Cooking usually does the trick. It allows me to get creative, all while killing some time. And recently, Publix (IYKYK) had Standing Rib Roasts for $5.99/lb. I got my Guy Fieri on and spent almost an entire day working on this. Only thing I wouldn’t recommend in Flavor Town? These weird cross hatched potatoes I made. Whatta pain in the ass. But, it was fun and occupied almost an entire day where I may have been bored and getting inside my own head. And I got to eat. And let’s not forget I got to post all the pictures on my social media to get the attention I am always craving. TELL ME I DID GOOD, DAMN IT! Look, whatever it is….Get creative. 
There’s one thing I can’t help you with. Only because I myself, still haven’t figured out how to move past/avoid it. The Ol’ Mother inquiring about your love life (or lack thereof) and when you’re going to meet someone and settle down. I thought we had moved past this. But, no. Mama Murph is still waiting (impatiently, if you ask me) on the day I meet some nice young lady to sweep me off my feet. And by the way, she is getting REALLY tired of me quoting A.A. with : “Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly” and “progress not perfection” when it comes to this topic. So, don’t recommend that. I’ve already tried.
Ok, that’s enough out of me for this month. I wish you and yours nothing but the very best this Holiday Season and going into 2023! BE SAFE! As always, if you ever need anything, please reach out to us!
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