By: Mike Murphy, Manager of Alumni Services
A while back I remember seeing something on social media along the lines of, “I’ve accomplished more in one year of sobriety than I did ten
years drunk,” and I wasn’t quite sure if that was just a cheesy saying, or an actual thing/possibility. I mean, at the end of the day I have done some pretty great things professionally and in my personal life. Whether it was operating a successful business at Universal Studios in Orlando to traveling the world and witnessing things like the Northern Lights in Iceland. But, what did I really have to show for it?
When I was drinking my life away, special occasions or significant life events were few and far between. Hell, even just new experiences. I was living life in a very Groundhog Day fashion. Wake up, work, drink, repeat. And like most people in recovery, they’ll tell you we had some pretty awesome times while using/drinking, but when you take a step back and look from the outside in, our lives were pretty monotonous and quite boring. Interrupted by brief moments of “fun” and dimly lit memories.
What better holiday to remind me of this, than the recent passing of St. Patrick’s Day, A.K.A the Super Bowl of binge drinking. If I wasn’t working (I spent quite a few years behind the pine of a bar), I was trying to plan out a map of places to drink from sun up until sun down, or until I passed out face down somewhere. With nothing to show for but a much depleted bank account, nasty hangover, and a phone full of texts I wish I could take back. Now do me a favor and re-read those previous two sentences. This was a day I looked forward to every year for WHAT reason exactly? Sure I would use the ridiculous excuse of, “It’s to celebrate my Irish heritage.” What a joke. These were the moments I lived for in life.
Life looks pretty different for me, nowadays. In the time I have been sober, I find those “brief moments of fun” are not only no longer dimly lit, but they happen more frequently. Sure, a lot of it has to do with finally growing up, but a few other factors, as well. One of which is my health. It’s pretty wild the amount of stuff you can do each week when you’re not feeling like a gas station bathroom mop bucket. Now? If I am not up and out the door doing something by 8am, I feel lazy and like I am wasting my day away. They say money doesn’t buy you happiness, and that is true. However, when you’re not constantly squandering all of your paychecks on bar tabs and 7-11 food, it really opens up your ability to experience things in life.
Health and finances aside, here is the truth of the matter. I am now living a life worth living because simply put, I have the desire to do so. When I was drinking, I honestly believed I wouldn’t live to see 40, nd I felt that was simply my destiny. I wasn’t here to experience or learn new things. Sobriety has not just given me my life back, but it has just given me life PERIOD. Each week is presented to me as an empty chapter to fill with experience and memories. Ones that I am not only willing, but eager to write.
Lastly, none of this could be possible without the work I put in with AA and a solid program of recovery at TTC Delray alcohol rehab center. And I need to remind myself constantly, that the moment I forget this, it can all be taken back away from me. But, when we keep it One Day at a Time, it seems pretty manageable. Not for nothing, it beats waking up with a hangover every day.
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