Christmas is difficult for recovering alcoholics. Research shows this particular holiday is worse than any other day for those in recovery. Unfortunately, you can’t avoid Christmas altogether. You can, however, enjoy the holiday with your loved ones without the risk of relapse. You just need to know your strengths, stay away from temptation and rely on your support system.
Because we know Christmas is such a challenge for many of us, we’ve created this guide to help. We want you to enjoy the holiday season and all it has to offer. Here’s our guide to surviving Christmas as a recovering alcoholic.
As some who just finished alcohol detox in Delray Beach, Florida, you may already dread Christmas. Sometimes it’s helpful to pinpoint why, though. It makes you more aware. There are logical reasons why Christmas is hard for those in recovery. You’re not strange or weak if you feel tempted or sad around the holidays. If you ever feel down or discouraged, remember that it’s just another day and you can get through it.
Related reading: Why You Should Be Celebrating Sobriety Milestones
Routine is often a big part of recovery. When you have too much free time, it’s easy to get caught up in your thoughts. Because depression is strongly correlated with alcohol use disorder, most experts advise a routine to help with both issues. Many recovering alcoholics start a workout routine or after-work routine.
Whatever your strategy, Christmas will probably throw a wrench in things. There are office parties, family gatherings, and quick meetups with friends. You’ll need extra time for shopping and gift wrapping, too. Most of these activities are fun so you don’t want to avoid them, but you need a plan, too.
Everything feels more exciting around the holidays—and other emotions are higher, too. You may feel anxious about family gatherings and potential arguments with your loved ones. You may feel sad for any number of reasons. You may feel several emotions all at once, which is even more difficult. As much as you enjoy Christmas and spending time with your friends and family, there are a lot of feelings that may contribute to a relapse.
Then there’s the biggest problem: It seems like alcohol is everywhere at Christmas. These other problems probably wouldn’t be such a big deal without alcohol. But when you’re stressed, overwhelmed, and looking for any sort of relief, that cute little Christmas cocktail seems so harmless. Aunt Nancy has no idea you’re in recovery, so she made an extra-large batch. You can’t avoid alcohol completely at Christmas and that’s a huge problem for people in recovery.
The good news is that none of these problems are too big for you to handle. You just need a plan and you need a little help. You’ll find a plan in the next section. In the meantime, if you need help, please let us know. Our number is (877) 204-0661.
Related reading: 6 Self-Improvement Strategies for Mental Health
Each person’s holiday experience is a little different, but most of us struggle with the same issues at Christmas. These tips are generalized advice that applies to nearly every Christmas party or gathering. Most of it applies to the holiday season in particular.
Whatever you do, please don’t spend the holidays alone. Some recovering alcoholics try to avoid gatherings completely. If you’re worried about the risk of relapse or potential judgment from family or friends, please remember that most people just want to help. There are healthy ways to spend Christmas with the people you love and you can always leave if things feel overwhelming. These tips will help you survive Christmas—and hopefully enjoy it, too.
First—and this may seem obvious—try to avoid alcohol when you can. That will be difficult at Christmas, but remember to keep things in perspective. You know yourself best and some holiday gatherings are more difficult than others. Few recovering alcoholics can handle a quick drink with friends at the local bar. You probably need to skip that particular event.
There’s also a big difference between a small family party that includes alcohol and an office party where alcohol is the featured guest. You may be able to handle Aunt Nancy’s cocktail, but dealing with drunken coworkers is another level of difficulty. Know your limits when it comes to alcohol and avoid it when you can.
Related reading: The Role of the Counselor in Addiction Recovery
There’s no way to completely avoid emotional triggers over the holidays. At some point, you will likely feel tempted to drink. You may think, “Just one drink won’t hurt” or “I can handle a bar for just one night.” You may think everything is fine until your uncle makes a hurtful comment that sends you on a downward spiral. When these situations pop up, you need help to get through. Studies show that a strong support system is a key factor for a successful recovery. Identify that support system now and make sure they’ll be ready when the time comes. This support system may include:
If your friends or family members are drinking, they may wonder why you’re not participating. They may offer you a drink and some people can even be pushy. To handle these situations, plan an excuse. You don’t need to tell people you’re in recovery, though that’s an option, too. You can simply say, “I’m not drinking tonight.” Other ideas include:
If the person continues to press you despite your excuse, remember that “No” is a complete sentence. Just shake your head, smile, and walk away.
It’s hard to attend a party without a drink in your hand, especially if you’re used to having one. Most people feel awkward when their hands have nothing to do especially if they struggle with social anxiety or awkwardness. To help you feel more relaxed (and prevent invitations to drink), replace alcohol with a non-alcoholic beverage instead. Bring a bottle of sparkling cider or some punch. Even soda works in a pinch. No one needs to know it’s not alcohol. If someone offers you a drink, simply hold up your glass and say, “I’ve already got one. Thanks.”
A relaxing routine is crucial for recovering alcoholics. It’s even more important during stressful periods like the Christmas season. Your relaxing routine can be anything you like. Just make sure it’s helpful and you look forward to it. Popular ideas include:
Your relaxation strategy helps you stay focused, unwind when you’re stressed, and provides security. Try to do it at the same time each day.
Let’s assume you attend a disastrous holiday event. Maybe you show up for a family party and realize your obnoxious cousin decided to attend, too. He insists on arguing about politics, then makes a snide comment about your alcohol use. After a few attempts to change the conversation, you’re feeling overwhelmed and just want to go. How can you make a gracious exit?
It’s hard to think of an excuse when you’re under pressure, so prepare now instead. What’s the plan if things go from bad to worse? You can always just leave. That’s a strong strategy that solves the problem quickly. If you want to make an excuse, though, here’s an example:
Excuse yourself to the restroom. Gather your thoughts and take a moment to breathe. Wash your hands in warm water to help calm your nerves. Then approach the party host and tell them you’re not feeling well. If they ask for details, just say you have a stomach ache. Few people will ask for more details than that. When you get to your car, call your support person. If you want to be alone, try your relaxing routine. If you’d rather be with someone you trust, ask your support person to meet up.
Christmas is much harder for recovering alcoholics, particularly if they’re trying to recover alone. An outpatient recovery program can provide the support and resources you need to make it through the holidays unscathed. Transformations Treatment Center is here to help. Call (877) 204-0661 to speak with one of our expert counselors. We understand the struggles you face and we’re here to help.
