By: Paul. K., Transformations Alumnus

I was born and raised in Staten Island, NYC. I had an amazing childhood and never really wanted much, except for love and attention. Not having these things, or at least to the level that I require, made me look to so many other places to fill my void. I needed to be part of something that made me feel accepted by others. I found it in alcohol and drugs. These substances allowed me to fit in and hang out with the cool kids. By the time I reached high school, I combined sports, girls, alcohol, and cocaine… all to produce a selfish, egotistical jerk.

I went to my first treatment at 19 years old and I actually stayed sober for a couple of years. Then that little voice came into my head, “ You were just a kid, you can have a drink. You have a wife, a house, and all the things you need. Just one drink.”

Famous last words is a serious understatement. In no time, I was back to my old ways. I ruined the marriage and my family. Lost my soul and turned to a life of crime. Jails and institutions became my norm, and I destroyed everything I touched. And in my sick mind, I thought this was being cool and accepted. Alcohol and drugs fueled a fire that would take decades to put out. To make a very long story short, I finally came home on November 5, 2020 and surrendered. I asked for help sincerely for the very first time in my life.

I was so scared the day I entered Transformations. But true to form, I kept the tough guy face on. They taught me something there. Something that I never thought was possible. They taught me how to love myself. How to face my fear and how to ask for guidance. Not to sound cliche, I finally let go and put it ALL out there. And what I got in return, was freedom.

Today I go to meetings on a regular basis. I have true relationships with men that keep me accountable. I have a sponsor that I read the big book with as he guides me through the steps. I love working with others and sharing the things that I once would hide from. I enjoy my life today. Transformations helped me gain a new lease on life. It’s not perfect by any stretch. But as long as I keep doing the next right things and utilize all the tools in my belt on a daily basis, sobriety will be the legacy I always dreamed of.

If you or a loved one are struggling, please reach out!

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