By Jason C. – VA Alumnus
When I was young, older I dreamed of being
Make my own decisions, the whole world I would be seeing
I’d be responsible, and a trophy I would marry
All the rules of my youth would be mine to carry
The responsibilities of being a man, I couldn’t wait to get there
I’d be the best dad ever, I’d take my kids everywhere
I would never divorce, like my parents before me
Or put them through the pain I felt with no identity
I would work hard and I would provide
Together we would be whole and never divide
I’d be the one to count on, a good man
I’d be the one to look up to, giving everything I have
I’d be a great husband, greater than the men who came prior
A family that would go to church, maybe sing in the choir
But as I got older, it wasn’t what I dreamed
I started drinking in the middle of my teens
I didn’t face my problems or remembered the dreams before
I wasn’t ever ready, I was immature to the core
The only way to deal with things that came my way
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I used everyday
Nothing else seemed to matter, but trying not to feel
All the pain I caused it all seemed so unreal
I didn’t see it coming until my family wasn’t there
The wife, the kids, the dreams, all because of beer
This life is not what I wanted; those dreams seem so long ago
I became what I hated, I became what I loathe
I couldn’t stand what I became, so I went to what I know
I escaped from reality, just an adult that didn’t grow
The kids kept growing, I missed them being little
But because of drinking our relationship is brittle
I cannot be this man, one you cannot trust
So I’ve decided to make a change, facing fears is a must
Confronting all my problems, I’m trying to get sober
Thinking back to early days, I pray now the dreams aren’t over
I’m dreaming bigger dreams now, another chance I have been given
To be the man I dreamt to be, it time to start living
Finally I feel ready, those early dreams still beam
It’s not exactly as I thought; now I dream of being clean
Facing all the wreckage and disappointments of from the past
I can still be the man I dreamt, but I know it won’t be fast
I know it will take a lot of work to face those broken dreams
But to grow from that little boy, it’s the only way, it seems
As painful as life has been, what I wouldn’t give
To be the luckiest one of all, one who gets two lives to live