A few months ago, I got the pleasure of being in my sister’s wedding. Before we got to her big day, all the bridesmaids got together and threw her a bride-to-be party. The party started with high energy, and one of the bridesmaids poured shots for the whole gang. Because I’m in recovery, I respectfully declined… and poured myself a soda. Apparently, it took some of the girls by surprise that:
1. I wasn’t uncomfortable around them while they drank 
2. That I didn’t drink… like, not ever… not even at weddings.
One of the girls even said, “You can’t drink? Wow, that must suck”. I laughed. I’ll have 2 years sober in March, and at this point I am used to people reacting to my grape-juice-instead-of-wine in that sort of way. I can even remember a time before I got sober when I thought the exact same thing about people who didn’t drink… and boy, was I wrong. So very wrong. That moment got me thinking about the preconceived notion I had before getting sober. About a question, a fear of mine:
Will I ever have fun again, or will sober life just be… boring?
This is the question that crosses every alcoholic’s and addict’s mind before we decide to face our fears and start our journey to recovery. I know that in my case, my concern was rooted in the fact that I got sober at 23 years old. I knew that most of my peers were in college, going to parties and having the “time of their lives” sowing their wild oats… or whatever. The idea of being sober sounded a lot like missing out to me. In reality, the difference between my friends and me was that they actually woke up and went to class the next day after a party. I, on the other hand, woke up feeling dope sick with the daunting task of how to find my next hit just to survive the day. I chased after fun for years at parties and music shows, and- ironically- my addiction eventually stole any fun I could have possibly had in life.
I will never forget the first time in treatment when I experienced that first genuine belly laugh. Here I was, completely sober, owning only what I could fit in a suitcase, unsure where I’d live when I got out- let alone what I’d do for work- and I was rolling on the floor laughing at something my roommate had just said. I had forgotten what it felt like to feel happy; I forgot what it felt like to have fun. As my journey in recovery has continued over the last couple of years, I have accomplished more feats than I could have ever imagined. I have hobbies! I cycle, and I even play in band. I’m 25 years old, I’m sober, and yes, I am having fun.
And in case you were wondering, my sisters party with the other bridesmaids was a blast. I danced and I didn’t fall down because I was drunk (okay I fell, but only because I’m naturally clumsy and cannot walk in heels.) The other girls woke up hungover, and I woke up ready to soak up the sun on the beach. Sobriety will never be something that limits you; it will only open doors that you didn’t know were there.
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