By: Bob S., Transformations Alumnus
In February 2022, after a couple of years of abusing my body, mind, and soul with alcohol, I started my recovery journey by enrolling myself at Transformations. I was at my rock bottom, life was a series of foggy alcohol-clouded decisions, angry outbursts with my fiancee, tough mornings with shots of vodka to fend off the tremors, looming hangovers, and suicidal thoughts…it was dark.
At Transformations I found myself. After detox, I reluctantly arrived at the treatment center. Fear, trepidation, and skepticism surrounded me my first few days but gradually, if not grudgingly, I surrendered myself to the process. My personal motto was, “The only way out, is through,” and I gutted my way through those first few days. The program was just what I needed; a combination of self-reflection, faith, peer discussion and interaction, and science. I learned a lot about myself, the addiction process, erroneous thinking, stigma, grief, trauma, PTSD, and of course, guilt and shame! Thirty days flew by slowly, as I learned positive ways to process and cope, communicate and prioritize. The world continued without me, and when I returned to it, I found much had changed while remaining the same. I was humbled and honored by the support I received from my family and community.
On Sunday, August 7th around 7 pm, my fire company’s water rescue team was dispatched to a boater in distress, possibly six people in the water. Our team launched two Yamaha rescue water crafts, four minutes apart and arrived on the scene. USCG, NJ state police Marine unit, Sea Tow, and Towboat US were already on the scene. Once on scene, we were informed that there were two females, a mother and a 4-year-old daughter trapped under the capsized boat, in an air pocket in the forward cabin of the 25 ft vessel.
One of our members was already in the water. I removed my personal flotation device, donned swim fins, and
entered the water. Attempts were being made to try and flip the boat using ropes and the Towboats. After about 10 minutes of this tactic, I donned a mask and told my partner that I was going under to get them. Diving under the western side of the vessel, I was able to see the cabin entrance, partially obstructed by ropes and wire, and other items. I was able to enter the pitch-black cabin and make contact with the mother and daughter. The mother illuminated the interior with her cell phone, allowing me to see that we were in an air pocket about 18 inches high. After about two minutes of communication with the mother and daughter, I told them it was time to get out of there. Grabbing the 4yr olds life jacket and having the mother hold me by the t-shirt, I was able to dive under, find the
cabin exit and extricate both persons and bring them to the surface.
The cheers from surrounding vessels were loud and joyous!! All persons were placed on the Coast Guard vessel and
taken to Station BL for evaluation and transport by EMS. When the two PWCs arrived at the US Coast Guard Station Barnegat Light, the looks on our faces told a different story. Our chief and the past chief thought that the rescue went south and we lost someone. Both my coxswain and I were crying..in relief and realization of what we had done. There were congratulations all around and back slaps and fives, both high and low...
I was told by the USCG sector commander, as he gave me a challenge coin, that those two people would have died if I
didn’t do what I did, and that most times, those rescues don’t have a good result with the rescuer often perishing in the attempt.
It was a once-in-a-lifetime grab. And I made it!
On the quiet drive home I began to reflect on what I had done...and how I would NOT have been able to do it last year, prior to my sobriety and recovery. Prior to Transformations, I was in a dark dark place, feeling inadequate and helpless. Thoughts of harming myself were a daily thing. Drinking was a conscious effort to stay alive, because my ego would not let me take my own life if I was drunk...then everybody would know. My family would be shamed. All of that BS.
This rescue with its inherent danger would have been the perfect time to end it, except now, I WANTED TO LIVE!!!
My fitness and my mental state have gotten so much better since my recovery journey began and I owe it to my time at Transformations.
On August 7, I saved two lives... and the staff, therapists, my peers in recovery, my family, my friends, and my community were all there with me. THANK YOU ALL. “Sometimes you have to go DOWN before you go UP.”
Humbly and Respectfully,
Bob Selfridge
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